If you can read this, then either we share a ‘mother’ language, or you’ve had to learn mine. It’s as simple as that.
I grew up in England, in a family that spoke only English and went to a school and church where only English was spoken. I learnt some French and German at school, but that was about it. If I’m honest, it’s been an easy Language Life – born with a mother tongue that’s an international language of business. I grew up subconsciously believing that my language was of value and importance, one that many people learnt and wherever I travelled, I could probably find someone who could understand me if required. I didn’t have to change too much to be “seen” and make my way in the world.
Juxtapose that against my husband, Sibusiso. He was born just outside Durban, into a home and community that spoke isiZulu. Age 4 he moved to Harare, Zimbabwe where schooling was in English and much of life was in Shona. He had to quickly learn the new languages and how to navigate in acceptable ways, the frustrations that came through not being able to communicate with ease. He became proficient in both English and Shona, with his mother tongue being maintained to a point at home, but the world telling him that English was the language through which he would be able to engage in business, make a living for his future family, meet his potential in life. When his umkhulu passed on, he was asked to speak at the funeral back at home – but his isiZulu was not up to scratch, and he had to select carefully what he would read and rehearse it in his mother tongue in order represent his own ancestral identity with honour. He’d had to change a lot to be “seen” in the world he lived in.
Fast-forward to 2024 and we have three daughters whose first language is English, but who have been learning isiZulu and Afrikaans at school. Our eldest daughter, Akari, has now selected isiZulu, her father tongue, to be her First Additional Language, and loves learning it. We haven’t always had this option though and have made some difficult decisions along the way to ensure that she can become proficient in isiZulu. We will admit that we have not done well in being a bi-lingual home – it is not easy when one parent doesn’t speak another’s language.
International Mother Language Day is observed worldwide each year on 21 February to promote awareness of linguistic and cultural diversity and to promote multilingualism. Might I add here that there is much research around mother language and father language, and for the purpose of my blog, I would encompass both… Parent Languages.
I sometimes hear people ask, “Does it really matter?” Generally, the only people who ask that question, are those who’ve had a similar life experience to my early years. Who have never had to live in a world that doesn’t speak their mother language. I’ve subsequently had to learn Portuguese to work in Mozambique and some Shona in Zimbabwe and now ngiyafunda isiZulu. However, occasionally, those who question whether languages matter are those who are navigating their own struggles around the languages they speak or wish they could speak and may also brush it off as not being of concern. As we discuss languages, painful truths around assimilation may be unearthed.
Parent Languages matter.
In the school context especially, when we understand the importance, we should encourage parent languages, value them and understand their importance in the development of self-identity within a child.
Here are a few reasons why:
- When a child goes home to see ‘Gogo’ (grandmother) and can’t converse with them, identity issues can arise. They can feel like they don’t ‘fit’ in their own family home.
- With language comes deep cultural connections and understanding of nuances that are hard to translate into another language.
- Parent languages are a door to experiences that are part of one’s cultural identity.
- Language is one way in which diversity is seen and celebrated.
- Assimilation requires people to learn a common language, true inclusion recognises and embraces multiple languages.
Writing within South Africa, there are deep complexities to the use of multiple official languages within our borders. Cross-ethnic marriages give rise to the question of which language is spoken at home. At times a mother and father choose one of their languages as their children’s home language, other times parents cannot speak each other’s languages and so share a common language such as English in their home. In this event, children may be able to speak neither parent language when they go ‘home.’ English and Afrikaans have been the dominant languages of business, and most signage is still only in these two languages, despite significant primary African languages in regions.
Yandiswa Xhakaza in the Mail and Guardian article, “Children left speechless, denied identity,” she states, “We steal much more than we can comprehend when we take away a child’s home language. We steal their identity, we steal their experiences, we steal their connection with a world of their extended families and ancestors, we steal their humanness. We rob them of so much more than we give them through the English language and you will never know this until you meet a young person who has experienced this pain.” 1
We visited a church a few months ago, and the children were given an activity sheet each. The delight in Akari’s eyes and voice when she saw Name/igama on the top of the sheet was priceless. I took note. The following day, I asked her what she was thinking when she saw name in both English and isiZulu. “I felt valued,” she replied, “It was like we mattered to them.”
What can we do this Mother Language Day to make sure that those who don’t have an international language as a Parent Language feel valued? There are children in our schools, teachers in our staff rooms and employees in our companies who have language journeys that deeply impact who they are or who they believe they can be.
A few ideas:
- Give everyone an opportunity to greet and be greeted in their parent languages. In schools, you could collect the greetings on large sheets of paper in classrooms and put them on the door as welcome posters.
- Give students the opportunity to look up how to greet in their parent languages if they don’t know how – help them if necessary.
- Encourage children to talk about any languages they speak or would like to speak.
- Learn another language, or at least the greetings
- Create opportunities, that are safe spaces (please read my blog on creating safe spaces) where people can discuss their language journeys – who has had the opportunity to learn their mother language? What complexities have people experienced around choosing a home language? Keep in mind that there’s no right or wrong… everyone has their own journey, life experience and choices to make, but the more we understand others’ journeys, the richer our becomes.
- As a parent, discuss your parent languages with your children. Discuss any challenges, whichever their root: Ask them how they see it and if they would like to learn, or why they’re resistant and what would encourage them. There are many great apps for learning South African languages these days… not everything, but a great starting point if they’re keen or need encouraging.
As we prepare for the South African celebration of Human Rights Day on 21st March, understanding the value of having language choices and multiple languages is a foundational concept. Why not spend this month, 21st February – 21st March celebrating our diverse languages?
Please share your ideas of how in the comments… let us truly value and celebrate our diversity.
1Yandiswa Xhakaza (2020) Children left speechless, denied identity https://mg.co.za/education/2020-09-27-children-left-speechless-denied-identity/
Other resources: https://onraisingbilingualchildren.com/2013/06/18/mother-tongue-father-tongue-whats-it-all-about/
